When Reality Finally Sinks In......

When I blog more than one time in a day....it can only mean that something is bothering me. Yup....I realised that I am approximately 2 weeks away from my duedate and it could be sooner than that...as claimed by one of my colleague. Hey...2 weeks is not that faraway actually. Guess what..I haven't packed my bag to go to the hospital eventhough being reminded by Mama everyday. Alasan....tkd mood. The truth is I'm in denial. Yes, I'm one confused mom-to-be. I still can't believe that I am about to become a mother...about to have my own child.....Part of me still haven't come into terms with this fact. It sounds stupid I know but that's the truth. Deep inside me I'm scared of the responsibilities that awaits me. Being a mom is not an easy job and its not a part time job. You're responsibile to bring up your offspring....teach him all he needs to know about life...teach him all the good values in life...what's bad and what's not........guide him...show him good example.....teach him how to make decisions....provide a healthy environment for him....feed him.....provide clothes for him....a safe shelter for him.....and the list does not stop there. You see now why I'm getting a biiiiiiiittttttt scared. (slap on the face....)

On the other hand.....I am excited to go into motherhood..... (another slap on the face....) Oooo...dear....what is wrong with me. Am I going nuts....or is it normal to feel this way????? There has to be a simple explanation for all this right. Am I being childish....???This is sooooo not the right time to be childish la kan......I haven't talked to Mr. Lover about this panic-state of me. Probably I should sit down and discuss with him. Just to let him know my feelings now. From what I see Mr. Lover looks fine and dandy....and looking forward for the arrival of our gem. He just can't wait. How come ek????tak nervous ker mamat tuh???hhhhmmmm.....Ooo yeah...in case anyone is wondering whether I'm nervous wreck about the whole labor thing....the pain and all....the answer would be YES!!! but I've heard so many stories and experiences from people around me.....I have come to a conclusion that no matter what...it's not gonna be easy. I have developed an image of the whole scenario in my head beginning from going into the labor room in pain.....right to trying my best to push the baby out (assuming I'm gonna have a normal delivery).....waiting for midwife to sew me up...considering I don't dilate full 10cm.....yes....all of this is already playing in my mind over and over again...so you see...mentally I think I'm prepared....kot.....hehehe.....somebody please put some sense into me.....