Revamping this Space

How do you like my new layout?ok?yes?no?

I was getting really bored with my layout when I suddenly found this template and fell in love with it. So, this will be my layout eerrrmmmm until I get bored again.

Alrighty...just a quickie from me. I want to go to bed now. Am so sleepy. Work is tiring me out literally. It's not that I'm super duper busy but yet, at the end of the day, lethargic is an understatement.

Something is bothering me actually. Gosh, sometimes I wish I can be transparent but I can't. Ooo well, life goes on right =)

Toodles.....

The Boy Who Turns 3 Today...

Dear Haziq Danial,

Happy 3rd Birthday. Ayah, Ibu & Baby Zara love you so much. Please be a good boy okay =)

p/s: no party for you this year darling....Ayah & I have planned something for you. Your present??....to be honest, we haven't bought it.So, please be patient aite.

Haziq & Zara

It's getting a bit dusty here hehehe....haven't had the time to jot down what's been happening. Hikksss....Maybe I should write about the kids (gosh i love that i get to type the word kids hahaha poyo kan) a bit.

My Haziq will turn 3 y/o this Saturday. My ooo my. He's so big now. Talks a lot, but yet he still refuses to concentrate when it comes to his ABCs. Any tips anyone??

He is such an adorable big brother to Zara. Always eager to help Ibu, always wants to share his toys, and always wants to kiss his lil' sister. Alhamdulillah. I was kinda worried in the beginning. BUT...................yes...there's a but, he somehow always wants to pick a fight with me. Yup. You just can't believe the things he does just to drive me up the wall. His temper...oooo don't let me go there. It's like seeing a mini-me. Sigh. Let's just hope this will only be temporary okay.

Heidi Zara, on the other hand, is such an angel. I would say she's more easy-going compared to Haziq last time. Smiles a lot. Cries only when she's hungry, or sleepy and also when her diaper is wet. And just like Haziq, she likes to be hold, carried around. Sama ajer macam abang hehehe. She looks like Haziq when he was a baby. She babbles a lot now...like seriously a lot. She talks to her Ayah a lot when he comes back from work. It's so cute I tell ya.

Haaiiihhh...enough said. I'll continue some other time okay. Let's see some pictures aite...

My Haziq Danial

Dh terer dh naik basikal

@ 2 months old

dh lapar nak susu but ibu sibuk gak nak amik gambo hehehe

2009 In A Glance

2009 came and went in a flash if i may say so. let's recap shall we...

nothing much happened the first two months....

in march we finally moved into our new home after a year of waiting....alhamdulillah...finally...a place we can call home sweet home. we did some minor renovation, bought new furniture, made plans...etc... =)

in april we found out haziq will be a big brother come december.....alhamdulillah...i wanted a december baby hehe. april also saw the beginning of my morning, noon, evening & night sickness....24/7 sickness, you name it. sucks. with me down with morning sickness, further renovation and decorating the unit was put onhold sigh.

in july i managed to organise a belated birthday party for haziq with the help of hubby, my parents and siblings. the theme was cars and haziq got a lightning mcqueen 3d cake thanks to wiz. alhamdulillah the party went well and moi 'pengsan' the next day.

september...ooo...september. the month my life turned 360, well almost though. i still can't believe what had happened but i learned a very valuable lesson from it. life is funny in so many ways, indeed. when i was in 'that' mess, i was reminded of a quote that i used to give to my friends for encouragement. see i told you life is funny. at that time, i felt the quote was the best to describe what i went through. it goes something like this :

"Kadang kadang Tuhan sembunyikan Matahari, diberikan kita Petir dan Kilat, Kita menangis dan tertanya tanya... dimana hilangnya sinar, Rupa rupanya....Tuhan nak hadiahkan kita Pelangi Indah."

i took a moment to muhasabah diri, to reflect back, why it happened. i realised at times i tend to forget to be grateful with what i have. i focus too much on looking 'up' that i forget to look 'down'. so, a reminder to myself....bersyukur dgn apa yg ada, sentiasa bertawakkal, sentiasa sediakan payung sebelum hujan.

in november, the three of us had our first family outdoor photoshoot in Putrajaya. =)
in november also i found the energy and the mood to continue decorate the house...haha.

december then came in a jiffy....Heidi Zara was borned on the same day as my birthday. she weighed at 3.22kg@52cm. shewas 12 days early. alhamdulilah everything went well. she's a month old now. will blog about the whole journey in a separate entry ya.

so there....a whole year went by in a blink of an eye. geeezzzz.....i guess in a nutshell i would say
2009 has been a wonderful blessed year. i think i've grown throughout the year. learned a lot....tried my best to be a better person though it was not easy, but i tried. i tried to be a better mother, better wife, better daughter, better friend, better employee. and i am still trying...

i hope 2010 will a better year insya Allah... =)
hopefully i'll be able to blog more hehehe....i dont know how to end this entry (as usual)...so toodles peeps.

Latest Addition To The Family

Introducing our 2nd bundle of joy...

Meet Heidi Zara, born on 5th December 2009 @ 5.11 a.m at APSH weighing at 3.22 kg. Zara was 12 days early. Oooo...did I mention we share the same birthday? Yup. Cool huhhh... =)

Will update more soon ya...right now I'm busy adjusting myself to being a mother of two. It's not easy I tell ya but I'm lucky my mom is here to lend a helping hand.

Tooddles...

37 Weeks & Photoshoot in Putrajaya...

Alhamdulillah...it's been 37 weeks already. 3 more weeks or maybe less. We shall see. I have an appointment with my doctor next Saturday, 5th December....yesssiirrreeeeee...it's moi birthday. I'm secretly (not sooo secret anymore la kan since I'm writing it here hahaha) baby H.Z will make an appearance on the day itself. I am picturing myself in labor that night....hhhhhmmmmmm....

Anyways......

Earlier this month I managed to drag Hubby and Haziq to a family photoshoot that I've arranged. We had it in Taman Putra Perdana, Putrajaya on a Sunday morning. Yup. Hubby surprisingly gave 100% cooperation. Knowing him, he'd rather wake up late on a Sunday morning, so thanks dear. I wanted to capture pictures of the three of us before Baby H.Z arrives. :)

Let's just see the pictures ya..sudden mental block..dunno what else to write haha

Haziq initiated this pose himself...we just followed him...ahakss

Ibu's favorite boy...you're gonna be a big bro soon sayang...good luck ek :p

Rare moments...where Hubby and I are not at each others throat wakaka...

Loves you to bits Haziq

Carefree..after the shoot he smelled so masam...

Feeling his adik kicking Ibu's tummy

So, there...pictures of me the mak buyung. I have another confession to make here. I'm actually scared. Scared to deliver the baby. I thought the second time around it will not affect me much but I am wrong. The thought of not knowing how it's gonna be scares me a bit. Not knowing how long I'm gonna be in labor sends shivers thru my spine. I try not to think too much and focus on other stuff, I pray, oooo dear God...please...please.....

Please pray for me ya ooo dear friends :)

I'm worried too. Can't imagine dividing my love between Haziq and baby H.Z. Dunno why I'm feeling this way. Hope it's temporary.

Ok...toodles peeps....I need to do some house chores work now. It's never ending huhhh....take care

A Confession of A Grumpy Preggie Mommy....

yes...i have a confession to make here.

i dont feel like going to work anymore. all i want to do is stay at home and spend as much time i can with Haziq before the little one pops out. sigh. ooo guess what...my hospital bag...it's still not packed yet hehe. what's wrong with me ha? i think we've bought everything that we need. this time around i don't bother much with the list i make. i used my mother-instinct.... :p

lethargic is an understatement nowadays. i get tired so easily and my mood is like a rollercoaster. sometimes i hate myself. ooo how i can't wait for all this to be over. i want baby #2 to come out ASAP but at the same time i dont want my tummy to be empty. i like my bumpy tummy, i like the feeling of baby #2 kicking, punching, doing all sort of movements. i'm gonna miss that i know. just like last time after haziq was born. i could still feel something kicking inside of me...hahaha...must be the tummy muscles kot.

haziq???oooo that boy of mine is trully a miracle la. he amuse me everday with his speech abilities. the words that he uses. it amaze me that he actually listens to me. when i say something to him, when i thought he was not listening or paying attention, few days later he'll be using my exact words, and most of the time...against me. haaiihhh. so adorable. he loves to hug hubby and i at the same time. he'll come in between us and pull us together so that he can give each of us a kiss on the cheek hihihiii...i like....

seeing that my due date is nearing, i've started to discuss with haziq more often about the changes that's gonna take place soon. i told him that when baby #2 arrives, he will have to help me. help me put baby #2 to sleep, change diapers, wash clothes...etc. haziq said "ok ibu..." sigh. we shall see ya haziq dearest.

i'll be spending my whole confinement period in KL, our place. mama will be coming down next week. i am so not looking forward this part, the confinement part. it literally means i'll be confined in the house. the last time, i was close to being insane when in the end mama let me go out to get some fresh air...we went out with haziq, drove around and came back hahaha.

hokaaaayyyyy...i've crapped a lot here. im craving for rootbeer float la...may go and get it later then...ok peeps...i have no idea where this post is going and i'm too lazy to end it properly. so...till next time. in case i terberanak early...peeps...wish me luck aite... :)

Interesting...

I came across this while blog-hopping at a friend's blog a while ago and I just couldn't agree more. Read it.

Satu hari CINTA & KAWAN berjalan dalam kampung...

Tiba-tiba CINTA terjatuh dalam telaga....

Kenapa??Kerana CINTA itu buta..

Lalu KAWAN pun ikut terjun dalam telaga... Kenapa??

Kerana... KAWAN akan buat apa sahaja demi CINTA !! Di dalam telaga

CINTA hilang.... Kenapa??

Kerana... CINTA itu halus, mudah hilang kalau tak dijaga, sukar dicari apatah lagi dalam telaga yang gelap....

Sedangkan KAWAN masih lagi tercari-cari dimana CINTA & terus menunggu..

Kenapa??Kerana...

KAWAN itu sejati & akan kekal sebagai KAWAN yang setia.... kan ??

so, hargai lah KAWAN kita selagi kita terasa dia BERERTI....

*Walau kita punya couple, teman still paling setia..*

*Walau kita punya harta banyak, teman still paling berharga.*

More than often people tend to forget this. Forget the fact that even married couples get divorced, couples break-up but friendship....they remain. Even when you're happily married you should always value your friends, even if you're engaged, you must always find time for your friend, even when you have a steady boyfriend who would go to any extend for you, you must never take your friends for granted let alone make assumptions on their behalf without asking them, yes? no?

Me...me....and me...

Hi ya all...it's been ages since I drop by this space of mine. I was in dilemma. Part of me wanted to continue writing but part of me is just so tired. I hated my layout as well.

Oooo well....this morning I decided to pen down few lines. we'll see how far I can go yaaa...hhhhmmmm...updates...

pregnancy??? am in my 35th week...yup...bout 5 weeks or maybe less to go. Who knows. I told Dr M.A I want baby #2 to have the same birth date as mine. He laughed. HHmmmppphhhhh....So far baby #2 is growing well Alhamdulillah. We have a name already. Bought few things for baby #2 already but most of Haziq's stuff are gonna be used again, the playpen, baby clothes, etc..they're all in good condition. So I thought why waste money. I can buy more stuff for baby #2 later after my confinement. No big deal. I've made arrangements with a tukang urut already. The most important thing...yup, the urut part. My jamu has also been bought. Got it from my aunty in Muar. She makes them. I prefer the traditional ones rather than the modern ones...capsules...and what not. I still have few more stuff to get. I haven't packed my hospital bag. Sigh. I'm just not in the mood...yet. Will try to do it this weekend la. Heartburn is back...sheeessshhh...I hate it. I don't eat much so am slowly gaining weight. So far I've gained about 9kg. Yikessss....and boy do I waddle like a mama penguin nowadays hahaha....I make sure I still walk around going to places even when it feels like the bulging tummy is gonna fall down hahaha. I think I will post my latest picture later la...don't have one la.

work???am still at work...so many things to do at work. I must clear as much as possible before I go on leave. It's been so tiring la. Thank God now I dont have to drive to work. Hubster send me off in the morning and come and pick me up later in the evening bringing Haziq along. I like it. The three of us in the car stuck in the jam although most of the time I'll be screaming at the top of my lungs at Haziq for being notty but then again....I just love the time we spend in the car. Haziq hugs me the moment I step into the car asking me where I've been the whole day. Poor boy. I told him I have to go to work so that I can buy him stuff...he said ok. He's such an easy-going boy. He'll turn 3 y/o in 3 months time. Big boy dah kan. I love to watch him sleep. Only when he's asleep I realise he's such a grown up toddler, so full of energy, and about to be a big brother soon...then tears will roll down my cheek coz I'll be reminiscing the days when he was a small and tiny baby.

I've washed all Haziq baby clothes...and again..I got all emotional looking at them. How small they are and how Haziq fit into them last time. Hahaha...Yes...I'm very emotional like that. skit2 nak nangis....skit2 nak marah....penat la....kesian Hubster..huhuh and Haziq too coz kadang2 I get angry with him for not listening to me when all he wanted to do was play and have fun. Gosh...I'm such a bad mother kan...

Ok la...i think that's enough for now. I need to start on my work now. Will try to write more later....adios...

Oooo Dear

where do I start?

..... im upset
......im tired
......my back and my whole body ache
......haven't been sleeping well lately
......my heartburn is not leaving me alone

it can get worse than this i know...so im holding on.....on a happier note....i have my mother to constantly reminding me to count my blessings. and if you know what had happened this last few weeks..then you'd understand. let's just say....what had happened has taught me a lot. it's nothing new to learn actually but it's just that sometimes i tend to take things for granted. what i have...i tend to look for more but not appreciate what i already have fully. get me? anyways....thank you God for the valuable lesson.it has made me work harder to be close to you, to know that i should completely surrender myself, my life, my fate to you and let you decide what's best for me and my family. in school i've learned what tawakkal means....but last few weeks saw me really absorbing myself into the meaning of that word.sigh. how little i know...how little i actually do practice my religion...how ignorant i was.shameful.i still have a long way to go.a lot to learn.dear God....please guide me.

Oooo So Random...

Hope it's not too late to wish you all Selamat Berpuasa. It's the 7th day today and Alhamdulillah I still have the energy and the will to fast. Hopefully again this year I am able to complete the whole month.

A lot has happened this past couple of weeks. I've been too oocupied to jot it down. Let's just go in random shall we...

• managed to watch Sandra Bullock in The Proposal with Olyn. hahaha...had a good laugh. must watch if ur a sucker for romantic comedy. oooo...i so love all her bags in the movie hehehe
• i went for my check up last Saturday and....and...i gained 3 kilos hokay. my best record so far hahaha...Dr M.A was also surprised. i said to him "but i dont feel like i've gained that much" cheeehhh perasan lebeh...will put up detail entry of the check-up later laa..
• haziq was down with fever, cough and flu last week but thank God nothing serious. all this AH1N1 fuss is really scaring me. i dont bring haziq to the playground anymore. we hardly go out. haziq was pleading to me to take him to the swimming pool but i just dare not sigh. i dont like him to be stuck in the house too much but i have no choice.
• i've been having weird cravings lately, well ok not that weird in the sense that the food is easy to obtained. but i've been craving cakes of late.yup. i ordered 2 steamed fruit cake from elin, one to be eaten during Ramadhan and another one for Raya. you guys must try her cake. sedap. i also ordered almond and walnut caramel cake from a friend who just started his own business. cool eh. go here for more info and order. and...and...last night i made hubby drove us to the nearest secret recipe so that i can attend to my cravings. hehe. i went there with images of delicious cakes but when i got there i couldn't decide on which one. i stood in front of the counter for good 10 minutes when i settled for chocolate moist cake eventhough i think i should've have followed my intuition to try their new peacan butterscotch cake. and true enough the moist cake wasn't at all moist to my standard huhuhu. might as well get the american brownies. so last night i was upset and did not enjoy my cake. hubby and haziq enjoyed their chocolate indulgence (to my surprise haziq wallup half of the cake and got all sugar high after that heh...). im off to ipoh this evening, gonna make sure i make a visit to the secret recipe to replace last nite's frustration....sigh
• there is something bothering me. i'm disturbed. worried.sad. i pray everything will be okay but then Allah knows what's best for me and my family. so i can only pray...usaha and tawakkal, yes, no? i dont want to worry much considering my condition but i can't just sweep it off under the carpet this time. i must face it if it really happens, God forbid. sigh. must be strong :)
• i look forwrd to spend time in ipoh this weekend although hubby won't be joining me and haziq. he has work to do..dang.tkpe la.what to do eh.
• baby #2 is so active nowadays swimming from left to right, swaying, kicking, you name it. sometimes i can't even take a nap when baby #2 is moving around. ticklish hehe. haziq got the priviledge to feel ibu's tummy the other day and boy you should have seen his face when he felt the baby kicking. so funny. well not long after that he kept coming to me and put his hand on my tummy "nak rase baby ibu" haaaiihh....sometimes he'd just come running to me and hug me and my tummy. budak niii....suka buat ibu cair ek... :p

ok. that's all for now i guess. i don't feel good la this morning. went to the toilet twice and now my tummy is rumbling. i hope i can make it today. i got few things i need to get done before i head home at 1pm. pick up haziq, pack the remaining of our stuff and wait for my brother to come. don't think we can make it in time for iftar though. nevermind la. so you peeps who are driving back to your kampungs...have a safe journey aite. take care. enjoy the long break.

What??? 30 Already??

No...no...not me (well at least not yet though) :p

It's my precious boy. Haziq turned 30 months old last 13/08 hokaayy. That's equivalent to 2 and 1/2 years old. Whooaaaa. My ooo my as cliche as it sounds, I still wanna say it....how time files huh. Tsskk...ttsskk. My baby is so big now.

I was browsing thru pictures of Haziq when he was a tiny little creature.

@4 months

look at those cheek haha

@ approx. 10 months i think

ape kes?he doozed off just like that??? :p

iisshh...my trekker rosak la ibu

@ 8 months. his first time in the pool

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and this is him today

he loves to senget kan his head like that when asked to pose...ibu ikut jer

Dear Haziq,

What can I say? Your presence in my life changed me. You made me changed into a selfless person, always worrying about you, your health, your well-being and your future. It's endless you see, but I don't mind at all. As I am writing this, I am also fighting the tears from rolling down my *ehem* pinky(?) cheek. I'm very emotional these days. You taught me a lot baby. Yes, sometimes you drive me up the wall but heck, at the end of the day, you never fail to make me smile all so proud of you. Never getting enough of you. Okay, maybe there are times when I am 'garang' with you but it is for your own good okay. Errrrmmmm...okay I don't know what else to tell ya. Just want you to know that even when you're older, I still want to kiss/nibble/smooch that 'pipi' of yours be it at home or in public, so please don't shy away okay. Oooo Haziq...Ibu and Ayah love you so much la..period!

Ibu & Ayah

A Quickie..

I need to jot this down before my memory starts to fail on me. There were few conversations I had with Haziq that made me laughed so hard, ooo no wait, most of the time it made me left speechless in the end.



Conversation 1:



While in bed with Haziq last Saturday after Hubby has left for work. Haziq suddenly said,



H : Ajib otoman (ultraman) max....Ibu ien....

Me : Ha? What? Ibu ape?

H : Ibu ien, Ayah ien....

Me : Ibu ien?What's that?

H : Ien!!!!



Me.....after pausing for awhile...



Me : Ibu alien???

H : Ha...Ibu ien

Me : ???????





I told my mom bout this, she laughed so hard. She said tu laa...marah-marah Haziq now he calls you alien....hahaha....and then she laughed some more. Sigh. Am I being too hard on him?



Conversation 2:

We were at a mall when Haziq needed to pee. So, in the toilet I took off his pants and asked him to do his business but I forgot to take off his brief as well,boleh?

Me : Ok...Haziq...go ahead kencing...
Haziq: Ibu...ni??? (while pointing to his brief)
Me : Alamak...sorry..Ibu forgot.
Haziq : Ibu...Ibu...(shooking head while giving me that sorry look).
Me : ...... (speechless)

Conversation 3:

Haziq said something to me but I just couldn't get it, so I asked him again and again when he just gave up on me and said:

Haziq : Ibu tak faham (and walked away..)
Me : ?????

Conversation 4:

I was cleaning up the chest drawer in the master bedroom when Haziq came in,

Haziq : Ibu, wha' u wing?
Me : What Haziq?
Haziq : wha' u wing?
Me : Ooo..u mean what are you doing???
Haziq : Ha...what u wing?
Me : LOL....oooo Ibu tengah kemas barang2 nihhh (sambil tergelak dan tersengih hahah..sib baik tak tergolek)

Conversation 5:

I would always praise Haziq whenever he does something right, or whenever he manage to do something on his own etc. I'd say "Good job Haziq".
So there's this one time Hubby managed to do something but I can't remember what it was, Haziq went:

Haziq: Good job Ayah....
Me & Hubby : LOL.....looking at each other.

Phhewww...glad I got all the down. Must show this to Haziq when he's older (read: when he can read la...haha). It's just amazing how he has developed this past few months. Makes me feel I just can't get enough of him...and then makes me think and wonder ooo how am I gonna divide my love...when baby #2 comes along. Can I love both of them equally? Hhhhmmm...that deserves another entry all together me think ;)

Toodles.

#2

yup....we're expecting. Most of my readers (ya ...anda2 itu) are already aware of this news hehehe.

Alhamdulillah.....our rezeki, Insya Allah Haziq will be a big brother come December. I'm already in my 5th month, or to be precise Week 20. Another 20 weeks to go?huhuhu.

A visit to the gynae last Saturday was as usual full of excitement. Haziq gets it that inside tummy Ibu ada baby but I don't think he has fully digested the fact that he will have to share our attention come December. A bit tad worried yet at the same time Hubby and I are excited to see how things will turn out. Haziq being Abang Haziq, no longer a small baby (though still my precious baby in my eyes and will always be the special one coz he's my first). It was just the two of us during the last doctor's appointment. Haziq knows very well to stand at the end of the bed and look at the screen. Hehe. The printed scan picture is his and he happily look at it and say "Baby...baby". Haaaiiihhhh...precious moment ;)

The little one is growing well, sucking all the nutrients consumed by me. So far, I've gained close to 4kg. Hhmmm...I wonder how much will I gain this time around. I've got back my appetite, thank goodness. The heartburn is still there but I've learnt to ignore them as long as I could. Less vommiting nowadays, which is a bliss. Overall, the morning sickness this time is the same as the first, and Alhamdulillah it's over. Phheeewwww.

Oooo...the gender? Believe it or not it's still not 100% confirmed coz baby is facing me which makes is difficult to see...but most likely it's gonna be....ehem...ehemm... :p . I still remember last time by this time we were 100% sure we're gonna get a boy. Hhhhhmmm. Anis said if it's shy-shy cat...confirm girl la...hahah..we shall see ya babe.

Baby has started kicking and doing sommer-sault about a month ago. It's amazing. I thought the second time around I'd be rather so-so bout it. I mean no biggie la coz it's not my first time anyway. But boy was I wrong. The first time I felt the little one poking on me, I was shocked, then I smiled of excitement. Hehehe. No wonder la people gets excited on every pregnancy. Now I get it.

Cravings???Hhhmmmm like last time nothing fancy. Seriously. Been having late night snack of roti bom every now and then haha. Now I'm thinking of all the food mentioned by Anis (lagi!haha) in FB at Simon's Tom Yam, babe if you're reading this, jom..jom. I still haven't gotten my tauhu bakar, apam balik sedap, tony roma's famous ribs, hhmmm what else....hehehe...told ya nothing fancy.

Preparations? Nope, nothing yet. I've made a list though on things we may need to buy. Probably later once I'm in the mood.

I'm pretty much busy entertaining Haziq to be honest. I want to make sure I give my fullest attention to him before the baby pops out. Haziq needs me now. He's so attached to me nowadays, like extra attached I tell ya. Sume Ibu kena wat. No Ayah pls. Haaiihhh. Sometimes he'd just come to me and give me a kiss on the cheek. Apakah? Tersipu-sipu lak Ibu dia haha. ;)

More stories later peeps...

this is me but pls...pls...try to imagine me like this *scroll*
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Reminiscing?

While doing my ritual blog-hoping I stumbled a blog that has this song on her playlist.

If my memory serves me right this song was popular back in 1997/98. I was studying at PPP/ITM back then. Somehow this song brought back memories. Hhhhmmmm....Listening back to this song after more than 10 years, I couldn't get enough. Been listening to it since yesterday. Apakah?

"All Cried Out"

[Allure]

All alone on a Sunday morning

Outside I see the rain is falling

Inside I'm slowly dying

But the rain will hide my crying, crying, crying

And you

Don't you know my tears will burn the pillow

Set this place on fire

'Cause I'm tired of your lie

All I needed was a simple "Hello"

But the traffic was so noisy that you could not hear me cry

(I) I gave you my love in vain

My body never knew such pleasure,

My heart never knew such pain

(And you) You leave me so confused

Now I'm all cried out, over you.

[112]

Cryin' over you, yeah

Never wanted to see things your way,

Had to go astray

For why was I such a fool (Why was I such a fool)

Now I see that the grass is greener

Is it too late for me to find my way home,

How could I be so wrong?

[Allure]

Leaving me all alone

Don't you know my tears will cause an inferno

Romance up in flames,

Why should I take the blame?

You were the one who left me neglected (I'm so sorry baby)

Apology not accepted

Add me to the broken hearts you've collected

(I) I gave you all of me (Gave you all of me)

How was I to know,

You would weaken so easily

(I) I don't know what to do (I don't know what to do)

Now I'm all cried out

(All cried out)

Over you

(I) I gave you my love in vain

My body never knew such pleasure,

My heart never knew such pain

And you

[112]

You left me so confused

[Allure]

Now I'm all cried out

Now I'm all cried out

Over you

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p/s: if you're all cried out...then what do you?just walk away?is that the best remedy?or should you stay and work it out?

The Lethargic Me

......my whole body is aching...

......for some reason im short of breath and find it difficult to breathe....

.....i feel so tired....

......my back is killing me...

.....been having sleepless nights...

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i can't wait to see Dr M.A this Saturday....huhuhu

Morning Ramblings?

I started my day by dropping by at Anis's blog and read her entry on H1N1 and her worries. I can't agree more. It got me all worried. Not that I am not presently dead worried, now I'm terrified, worried sick. And I heard in the radio this morning on my way to work that the number of local contracted cases has increased here in our country. How I wish I could just take leave and stay at home with Haziq. Making Haziq wear mask and gloves is so tempting now but obviously not practical let alone illogical. I know that Kak Ani, Haziq care-taker practices good hygiene but what worry me most is the other kids. Gosh, am trying really hard not to be judgemental here, so I shall not deliberate any further on this matter.

And then I went on with my daily dosage and came across this disturbing article. Read here. She said she was under pressure because her daughter had skipped school and her husband just filed for a divorce. Sigh. What's becoming of this world of ours, I sometimes wonder.

Not long after, I received an email from a friend. I feel I should share the contect of it here. Whether it's true or not, Wallahualam.

Subject: MIKAEEL (MURDER) CONSPIRACY

Michael Jackson (MJ) was known as the most loving person in the world. He gave up most of his assets for charity and all his life, he fought for equality of the African Americans, AIDS victims, Against Drug Abuse, Against Abortion, Against Child Labor and secretly channelled his properties for the hungry children of the world. However, he wasn't peace at heart. He always think of himself as a child trapped inside a man's body. Being Peter Pan is all his dream, never to grow up, forever a child. That inspires him to build Neverland - a heaven for children. Children of all ages and races are welcomed to Neverland. MJ had so much love to give.

However, he made a mistake which he didn't know of the consequences. He saw the peaceful life his brother, Jermaine (Muhammad Abdul Aziz) had as a Muslim - true, Jermaine faced so much pressure that he moved to Bahrain.

In 1989, MJ made a press conference which shocked the world, "I have seen the Islam in the life of my brother, I have read the books about Islam. And I'd love to someday feel the calmness and peace of Islam...."

Since that, MJ's life was never the same again.He was accused of so many accusations against child molestation. MJ was not someone who can deal with much pressure as he is a 'delicate child'. All the extortion and black mail followed after that. Everything he did was being seen as wrong in the eyes of the Media. All these are to influence his fans to hate MJ. If he is hated, then he would not be influencial anymore.

For several years, he stayed in England. Getting motivation from a long time friend, Cat Stevens, who had converted into Islam - named Yusuf Islam. From him, MJ learnt how Yusuf had survived being Muslim. He made friends with a song writer, Zain Bhikha too, who wrote a song titled, "GIVE THANKS TO ALLAH", which he wanted MJ to sing whenever he is ready.

Following his trial, MJ withdrew to Bahrain, where he was the special guest of sheik Abdullah bin Hamad Al Khalifa, the son of Bahrain’s king. It was then that Michael began to give conversion more “serious thought.”MJ stayed in Bahrain for approximately 3 years. He studied Islam, the prayers and learn to read the Koran (al-Quran).

Finally, he came back to Los Angeles and in November 2008 MJ had formally converted to Islam in a ceremony at a close friend’s house in Los Angeles.He perform Haj with the King of Bahrain and son on December 2008.

He had a hidden agenda when he wanted to make a final comeback. He annouced in a press conference on March 2009, "This will be my final concert. I'll see you all in July...."

He planned that during his concert, he would announce that this is the FINAL concert as he wouldn't be performing anymore. He will declare that he is a Muslim and will only sing with Yusuf Islam and Friends.At the end of the concert, he will be singing the song, "GIVE THANKS TO ALLAH" with Yusuf Islam. That is the reason why he chose London as his final concert venue instead of the USA. It was because he thought he could escape the USA's extortion, and that he could perform with yusuf Islam who is in England.

At 12.30am, 25th June 2009, he hugged his production manager and said, "After reherasing for 2 months, I am finally ready for the concert..."Before leaving to sleep, he waved his dancers, "It was a good night everyone. I'll see you all tomorrow..."The next thing... He was pronouced dead at 2.26am....

When 911 was called, there are so much questions asked. It is as if they didn't know who MJ is and where he lived. The questions asked are more towards to delay time.The hospital said the autopsy result can only be obtained after 2 months - very illogical as even the worst African technology could obtain the result in less than 2 weeks.

MJ's family members opt for second private autopsy as they started to feel something fishy is going on. The result came out in about 4 days - MJ was drugged with high dosage of anaesthetic - drug that brings about a reversible loss of consciousness, if used to much could stop the heart from beating.

Another result which was not aired in the media was, MJ's stomach is empty of this drug, but his blood were filled with it - same case as the death of Marilyn Monroe.The private doctors also found many needle marks, afraid to be forced injections given to MJ on his bed.

In CNN Live after a week, Barack Obama was interviewed. And he said, "I love MJ, I grew up listening to his songs. It is a great loss, but rest assured that there is no conspiracy in his death..."Now, why must a President made such statement before the official autopsy result came out? How would he know that there is no conspiracy without the post-mortem result? Seems like someone is afraid of his shadows.

MJ was known to the world as a person who is against drug abuse. Why must he be addicted to drug, then? If he wanted to commit suicide, why rehearse for his concert? And why will he want to see his dancers the next day?

Enough about his death. I am sure people around the world is not stupid anymore. These supreme power can fool us during the Marilyn Monroe conspiracy, Martin Luther King and Princess Diana. But in this MJ's case, they left too many loopholes for those who think...!!

MJ left us with this unfinished studio-recorded song, GIVE THANKS TO ALLAH. You can download this song here: http://www.filefactory.com/file/ahb80ff/n/Micheal_Jackson_-_Give_Thanks_To_Allah_mp3

MJ's family was about to give him a Muslim burial with the help of The Brotherhood of Islam. But, the CIA showed up at Neverland's door - blackmailed them that if they do so publicly, Katherine (MJ's mother) would be pull off from MJ's 3 children's custody as well as MJ's estates. Instead, they'll hire Debbie Rowe for the purpose, and the court will be in their favour. So much for democracy and fairness...

Finally, they agreed to let MJ have a Muslim Burial in Neverland. But in condition, must show to the public a Christian Memorial Service, as to prove to the world that MJ was never a Muslim.

So, Staples Centre was just a normal show. That's why the coffin was closed and sealed.

MJ was buried days earlier. The Gold Coffin was empty. They were about to bury the Coffin according to Christianity ways in Hollywood - as in their deal with the USA Government.

These happened, because the USA is afraid of the rising numbers of Muslims in the world.

(Sheikh Ha**d)

The Brotherhood of Islam

Buletin of Bahrain

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And it's not even noon yet. Anticipating a long day ahead people.

Pleasure Reading Anyone?

Below is an interesting article wrote by Dr. Bakri Musa which I feel must be read by all of us. Enjoy.

Chaining The Children of the Poor
M. Bakri Musa

The ancient Chinese bound the feet of their baby daughters so they would grow up with deformed tiny feet, thus limiting their mobility and participation in life outside the little world of their homes. These women would then be totally dependent on their men.
In rescinding the policy of teaching science and mathematics in English, the government is likewise binding the intellectual development of our children. They and future generations of Malaysians would grow up with warped intellect. They would then be totally dependent on the government, just as ancient Chinese women with tiny feet were on their men.
My friend and fellow commentator Azly Rahman has a more apt and colorful local metaphor; we are condemning future generations to the Pekan Rabu economy, capable only of selling pirated versions of Michael Jackson albums. That would be the extent of their entrepreneurial prowess and creative flair. They are only subsistence entrepreneurs and ‘copy cat’ creators.
Make no mistake about it. The government’s professed concerns for the poor and those from rural areas notwithstanding, reversing the current policy would adversely and disproportionately impact them. The rich and those in the cities have a ready escape; the rich through private English classes, urban children from the already high levels of English in their community.
The most disadvantaged will be the poor kampong kids. That means Malay children. Thus we have the supreme irony if not perversity of the champions of Ketuanan Melayu actively pursuing a policy that would ensure Malay children be perpetually trapped economically and intellectually. I thank Allah that I grew up at a time when the likes of Muhyyuddin were not in charge of our education system. Otherwise I would have been trapped in my kampong.
The idiocy of the new move is best illustrated by this one startling example. In 2012 when the new plan will be implemented, students in Form IV will be taught science and mathematics in Malay, after learning the two subjects in English for the past nine years. Then two years later when they will be entering Sixth Form or the Matriculation stream, they will again have to revert to English.
Pupils in the vernacular schools would have it worse. They would learn the two subjects in their mother tongue during their primary school years, then switch to Malay for the next five while in secondary school, and then switch again, this time to English, in Sixth Form and university!
Had these policymakers done their homework and diligent downstream analysis, such idiocies would not crop up. Then again this is what we would expect from our civil servants. They have been brought up with their minds bound up; they cannot think. They have depended on others to do the thinking for them.
Najib Razak’s flip-flopping on this major national issue eerily reminds me of similar indecisiveness and lack of resolve of his immediate predecessor, Abdullah Badawi. No wonder he supports Najib in this policy shift. Najib should not take comfort in that, unless he expects a similar fate as Abdullah’s. Abdullah was kicked out by his party; with Najib, it would be the voters who would be kicking him out. Public sentiments are definitely against this policy switch.
Failure of Policy Versus Failure of Implementation
The cabinet reversed course because it deemed the policy did not produce the desired results. However, in arriving at this pivotal decision the cabinet failed to address the fundamental question on whether the original policy was flawed or its implementation ineffective.
It just assumed the policy to be flawed. Muhyyuddin and his senior officers relied heavily on the 2005 UNESCO Report which suggests that “‘mother tongue first’ bilingual education” may (my emphasis) be the solution to the dilemma of members of minority linguistic groups in acquiring knowledge.
Muhyyuddin and his advisers seriously misread the Report. It was concerned primarily with the dilemma at the societal level of members of a linguistic minority having to learn the language of the majority (“national language”) versus the need to maintain linguistic diversity generally and minority languages specifically. UNESCO was rightly concerned with the rapid disappearance of languages spoken by small minority groups. The report was not addressing specifically the learning of science and mathematics.
Malay language is not at risk of disappearing; it is the native tongue of literally hundreds of millions. To extrapolate the UNESCO recommendations for Malay language is a gross oversimplification and misreading of the report.
The UNESCO Report does not address the issue of when and how best to introduce children to bilingual education. Later studies that focused specifically on the pedagogical and psychological aspects instead of the sociological and political have shown that children are quite capable of learning multiple languages at the same time. Even more remarkable is that the earlier they are exposed to a second language the more facile they would be with that language. They would also learn that second language much faster; hence second language even at preschool.
The acquisition of bilingual ability at an early age confers other significant cognitive advantages. These have been documented by clinical studies with functional MRIs (imaging studies of the brain). Malaysia should learn from these more modern studies and the experiences of more advanced societies, not from the UNESCO studies of backward tribes of Asia.
The other basis for the cabinet’s decision was ‘research’ by local half-baked and politically-oriented pseudo academics. They should be embarrassed to append their names to such a sophomoric paper. The quality is such that it will never appear in reputable journals. As for the Ministry’s own internal ‘researchers,’ remember that they came out within months of the policy’s introduction in 2003 documenting the ‘impressive’ improvements in students’ achievements!
The one major entity that would be severely impacted by the cabinet’s decision is our universities. Yet our Vice-Chancellors have remained quiet and detached in this important national debate. They have not advised the cabinet nor lead the public discussions. Again that reflects the caliber of leadership of our major institutions.
Had the cabinet decided that the policy was essentially sound but that the flaws were with its implementations, then measures other than rescinding it would be the appropriate response. This would include recruiting and training more English-speaking teachers and devoting more hours to the subject.
What surprised me is that when Mahathir introduced the policy in 2003, he was supported by his cabinet that included Najib, Muhyyuddin, Hishamuddin, and over a dozen of current ministers who now collectively voted to reverse the policy. Likewise, the policy was fully endorsed too by UMNO’s Supreme Council then. Like the cabinet, many of those earlier members are still in that body today. Yet today the Council also voted to disband the policy. Muhyyuddin, Hishamuddin and the others have yet to share with us why they changed their minds. The conditions that prompted the introduction of the policy back then are still present today. This reversal will do not change that.
Najib, Muhyyuddin and Hishamuddin are “lallang leaders,” they bend with the slightest wind change. Unlike Margaret Thatcher’s famed resolve of “This lady is not for turning,” with Najib, Muhyyuddin, et al., all you have to do to make them undertake a U turn would be to blow slightly in their faces. Blow a bit harder and they would scoot off with their tails between their legs. These leaders will never lead us forward.
This reversal will not solve the widening achievement gap between urban and rural students. The cabinet has yet to put forth new ideas on ameliorating that problem. So, just as ancient Chinese women were physically handicapped because of their bound feet, rural or more specifically Malay children will continue to be intellectually handicapped by their warped and small minds, the consequence of this policy shift. Perhaps that is the real objective of this policy reversal, the shackling of the intellectual development of our young so they will forever be dependent on their ‘leaders.’

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p/s:how i wish the govt would have opted the other direction.Sigh.

It's Monday Already???

...and I feel like rambling.....bear with me aite...

.....24 hours is just not enough for me...period.

.....2 days weekend is definitely not enough for me...period.

.....i am so tired. it has been a tiring 4 fulfilling days. will more blog more it later.

....haziq turns 29 months today...will blog about it later too.

....i am currently struggling to keep my eyes open....sigh

....im broke...broke...broke....but happy...happy...happy... ;)

....am counting all my blessings...

....is mrs sniffles this morning...hope it will go away soon..

.....is thinking deep...weighing all aspects...and soon will make the decision....haiihhh...

....wants to go back to Ipoh end of the month...hopefully..

.....is lazy to work today...

.....wish that December is just around the corner....

.....again...can't wait for December to come...it's gonna be a whole new chapter ;)

.....is missing some people...

cute right...hehehe

Toodles peeps.

Disappointed!

Read here.

Truly disappointed. Huh.