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Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Grandma....Grandma...

My mom came over last weekend to spend time with her only daughter and her favorite only cucu (so far la). When Mama is around it could only mean one thing. Zai = total rest + being pampered, Haziq = gets all the attention from Grandma which also means Ibu gets to tergolek doing nothing = BLISS.....Yeah...I'm very manja with Mama... ;p

Anyway, yesterday when Mama had to go back, we dropped Haziq at his care taker's place first. Haziq was reluctant to let go of him Grandma's hand. At the door, he was almost close to tears calling our for his Grandma...sob...sob...but later that evening when we picked him up he was again his jolly self. In the car he asked again "Ibu, maner Grandma?" I said "Grandma dh balik sayang but in two weeks time Grandma datang lagi ok" "Ayaaaaa......" was his reply. :(
That night...early morning to be precise, Haziq woke up calling out "Maaaaa....." I lay down beside him and asked him what's wrong. "Grandma maner Ibu??? Again I explained to him but this time he cried and asked for his milk. He cried himself to sleep without drinking his milk. Dear God...poor boy. He woke up again at 6 ish all smiley and we even played around in bed. Haziq made funny sounds in his attempt to make me laugh. Cute. And then suddenly he asked "Maner Grandma ni aaa???" Aisehhh...managed to distract him when suddenly he heard sounds of water gushing down the pipes in the bathroom, so he thought his Grandma was inside the bathroom. He took my hand "Ibu...jom" asked me to accompany him to the bathroom. I opened the door for him. "See...Grandma takde" The frustrated look on his face was enough to make me feel so sad.


I told Mama this morning at work. I can sense Mama is sad as well. Both of them have bonded so well. Mama adores Haziq soooo much. She said she feels like taking Haziq back to Ipoh with her. Hehehe....Aiyaakk...don't la. Nanti Zai yang malam2 cannot sleep rindukan Haziq pulak.... :p

I wonder whether later today at home Haziq will ask again his Grandma. It's amazing. During Mama's last visit, Haziq was not like this after Mama went back. He's become so attached to his Grandma that he misses her this time around. I think that's adorable although a bit sad. It just show how Haziq has grown. He now know the feeling of missing someone....ooowwwhhhh....my baby is big boy now...sob...sob...It's ok baby...in two weeks time we're gonna meet Grandma and Grandpa and spend some time in Ipoh....wooottt....wwooottt....Ibu can't wait too.... :)

Haziq with Grandma

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

I'm Tired....

.......really tired.

I long for a break to relax and unwind.

Exhausted.....all I wanna do after a long day at the office is just to lie down and sleep.

Need to find my inner strength....need to be strong. Need to be patient.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

coretan?

hari ini saya rase seperti mahu menulis di dalam bahasa ibunda saya. mari kita mulakan...
sedang saya menaip nukilan saya ini, di luar sana hujan sangat lebat sekali. Alhamdulillah...setelah agak sekian lama tiada hujan turun, hari ini jalan raja chulan amat basah sekali.

alamak...tibe2 saya rasa lapar pula tapi tak ada apa nak makan. mungkn saya patut melawat pantry (cakap melayu ape?) untuk melihat sama ada ada ke tidak biskut atau apa2 saja yang boleh saya makan. sebentar...saya akan kembali.
saya sudah kembali.
badan saya sakit2 ni. tak pasti mengapa. mungkin kurang senaman agaknya. saya dah lama tk mengunjungi spa untuk sessi urut. bila agaknya nak pergi ek? sapa nak teman saya pergi? marilah...
pernah tak korang bermimpi sesuatu yang indah...tapi belum sempat mimpi itu habis korang digannggu???pernah kan. ia terjadi kepada saya semalam. kecewa saya. saya sedang bermimpikan sesuat yang sangat ler menguja kan saya (tak perlu la saya cerita panjang2 ya) tiba2 saya terdengar suara budak menangis sambil memanggil Ibu....oooo tidak. rupanya haziq terbangun dari tidurnya dan mahukna saya membuat susu untuk dia....waaaaa...selepas itu saya cuba untuk sambung tidur kembali dengan harapan setinggi langit mimpi tadi akan bersambung...tapi apakan daya. mimpi hanya tinggal mimpi. mungkin kah malam ini saya akan mendapat tahu kesudahan mimpi saya semalam. kita tunggu saja lah.
baik lah, saya sampai di sini sahaja coretan saya. penat la tulis dalam bahasa melayu. asyik salah taip jer. tak tau la kenapa.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Wishlist Saya



There are a few things that i would like to have for myself....not for hubby...not for haziq...but for myself..... :p

I know I won't buy them in the nearest future but what the heck...it doesn't hurt to wish and dream one day I will get it right...

Here's what I want:


  1. a camera bag. i haven't decided whether it should be a backpack or a sling bag but if i could have this or this or this i'd be very very happy.

  2. a new lens. i would love to have that 70-200mm f2.8 and 50mm f1.4 but...but....i can't afford it waaaaa...so if i could have this, i'm one happy amature photographer :p

  3. i need an external flash too. i've been surveying and i think this should do it.

  4. i need a new laptop...been 'tumpanging' hubby's lappy huhuhu....

  5. and i also need a bigger paycheck wakakak....to sustain this expensive hobby dangggg.... ;p

hopefully i won't be like this la in the future hahah

ok..that's all for now. i'm crossing my fingers and toes hoping i'll get one of the item in my list soon hehehe....thank you all for reading to my Monday afternoon crap ;)



roger and out!


Thursday, May 07, 2009

Life Is Funny.........????

Life is funny don't you think.


God works in the most funny ways sometimes. How he plans for you and your family, your friends, your career. You may not understand why things are the way He planned it but you have to accept and know that it's always the best for you although most of the time it's not easy. You may not feel that it is what you want but God gives you what you need and deserve. You can only plan, work hard for whatver you plan and leave the rest to the Almighty, yes? no?


A lot of things have happened around me these last few weeks. Family wise, health wise, among my friends. Sigh.....I constantly remind myself to be strong. Be patient. Be brave. Be humble. Be grateful.


I feel sad when my bestfriends are sad. I feel hopeless too. I was chatting with Nique yestesday and she said something like this"Why can't all of us are happy at the same time???" I guess as we grow older, we start to take our own separate path in lives, we meet different people, encounter with different problems, we're no longer that innocent person we were back from those Uni days. Life gets harder and complicated as we embark on this journey to be sucsessful, to have it all. And it's true what they say....most of the time...you just can't have it all. You just can't. I don't know. Maybe it's just the way life is. Life is funny didn't I tell ya???

Life sucks!!! I used to say that a lot during my younger days. Back then I didn't know how to count my blessings I guess. Maybe because there weren't any. Subhanallah. May God forgive me. Life was hard. Life is still hard till today but Alhamdulillah so far we've managed. Make the best of everything that we have.
But how do you tell someone dear to you, whose heart has been broken into a million pieces that everything is going to be okay, that she will one day move on, that she deserves better than that, that she has to be strong.....how???how???
How to tell her that she will find someone better one day when she already has her future planned with the guy???when she is utmost happy when she was with him???
Seeing her cry broke my heart. It did. I couldn't really sleep that night after I met her. I knew exactly how she's feeling. It feels as though someone has ripped your heart out into pieces and you can feel the emptiness inside you and all you wanna do is curl yourself in bed and cry yourself to sleep. No?
Sigh.....I wish I could do more for her. I wish I could make all this disappear for her so that she need not suffer. But I can't. I can only be there for her to listen to her......to make sure she knows that we're always here for her.
Dear God,
Please...please....give my friend the strength to face all this. I know you've planned something good for her in the end, I know. But please...please.....make her stronger, okay?
Thank You.
And to you my dear friend, I know it's easier said than done but I really believe you can get through this. I know you can. Just remember we are here for you anytime you need us,okay? And we love you lots..... :)